TREADMILL TIME WARP

I can't stand running on the treadmill for half an hour, only to look down and see it's been just 4 minutes.

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I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.

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eBay is useless. I searched for 'lighters' and got 12,544 matches.

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My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.

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You'd think the brain area that remembered phone numbers would now handle passwords! But... nope!

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The toughest thing about being human? Realizing you have no 'Ctrl+Z' for life's mistakes

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Smart phone. Dumb battery.

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