Fitness Jokes

23 fitness dad jokes. You asked for it.

See-Food Diet

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

Fitness Food Wordplay+1

🙄0😂0

Lunge Forward

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.

Marriage Fitness Wordplay+2

🙄0😂0

Yoga Stretch

I'm sceptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day, that's a bit of a stretch.

Wordplay Fitness Skepticism

🙄0😂0

Cooling Refrigeration

I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.

Household Food Fitness+2

🙄0😂0

Weight Comparison

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other? A little lighter!

Animals Wordplay Light+2

🙄0😂0

Balanced Delights

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

Food Fitness Health+2

🙄0😂0

Fitness Fuel-up

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Fitness Food Irony+2

🙄0😂0

Gym-nesia Strikes Again

I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's 5 years in a row now.

Fitness Procrastination Self-Deprecating+1

🙄0😂0

Gourmet Workout

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch.

Wordplay Fitness Food

🙄0😂0

Fit and Far Away

At 61, Grandma started walking five miles a day to stay fit. Now she is 97! And we have no clue where she is...

Wordplay Fitness Age

🙄0😂0

Tricky Treats

I was on the weight watchers website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?

Wordplay Fitness Confusion

🙄0😂0

Good Health

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Health Seniors Wordplay+2

🙄0😂0

Weight Loss Goals

I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 more to go.

Wordplay Fitness

🙄0😂0

Round and Proud

I'm in shape... Round is shape, isn't it?

Wordplay Self-Deprecating Fitness+2

🙄0😂0

Digital Gains Over Physical Pains

I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.

Technology Fitness Priorities+1

🙄0😂0

Heavy Realization

You know you're fat when you step on the scale it says 'One at a time please'

Self-Deprecating Fitness Appearance+2

🙄0😂0

A Unique Approach to Fitness

We moved the treadmill outside. Now I can work on my cardio and my cancer at the same time!

Health Fitness

🙄0😂0

The Whiskey Weight Loss Plan

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

Drinks Fitness Health

🙄0😂0

Treadmill Time Warp

I can't stand running on the treadmill for half an hour, only to look down and see it's been just 4 minutes.

Fitness Time Frustration+2

🙄0😂0

Weight Loss on Mars

Weigh 200 pounds on Earth? On Mars, you'd be a svelte 76 pounds. You're not fat, you're just on the wrong planet!

Fitness Space Science+1

🙄0😂0

Growth Gains

If you improve just 1% daily, compound growth will make you 37 times better by year's end.

Growth Improvement Motivation+1

🙄0😂0

Calorie Counting Crisis

Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet! As long as I don't eat anything else today and tomorrow.

Fitness Food Pizza

🙄0😂0

Still Fits!

Yesterday, I wore something from 5 years ago, and it still fit! I'm so proud! Okay... It was just socks, but still!

Clothing Fitness Confidence+1

🙄0😂0