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FOOD JOKES

19 food dad jokes. You asked for it.

Invisible Red

Invisible Red

What is red, but invisible? No tomato.

ColorFoodAbsurd+2
Breakfast Commitment

Breakfast Commitment

Ham & Eggs, a day's work for a chicken and a lifetime commitment for a pig.

AnimalsFarmWork+2
Cooling Refrigeration

Cooling Refrigeration

I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.

HouseholdFoodFitness+2
Edible Assignment

Edible Assignment

Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it's a piece of cake!!

SchoolFoodMisunderstanding+2
Monkey Diet

Monkey Diet

A new study found that human eat more bananas than Monkeys. It's true, I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

SatireWordplayMisdirection+2
Chicken Fare

Chicken Fare

I asked the waiter how they prepared their Chicken. "Nothing special," he explained. "We just tell them they're going to die."

RestaurantFarmDeath+1
Fridge Light

Fridge Light

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

FoodNightLight+1
Uranium Diet Disaster

Uranium Diet Disaster

What do you get when you eat uranium? Atomic ache.

ScienceFoodWordplay+2
Avocado Salad Illusion

Avocado Salad Illusion

People are a lot less judgy when you say you ate an avocado salad instead of a bowl of guacamole.

FoodMisleadingPerception+1
Infinite Wealth, Limited Spending

Infinite Wealth, Limited Spending

I have enough money to last the rest of my life... as long as I don't buy and eat anything.

MoneyFoodIrony
Solving Problems, One Bite at a Time

Solving Problems, One Bite at a Time

Remember: You can eat your way out of almost any problem.

FoodProblem-SolvingPhilosophy+1
Buzzing Sales

Buzzing Sales

What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.

WordplayInsectsFood+2
The Secret to Better Tasting Dinners

The Secret to Better Tasting Dinners

Every wife should understand one thing: A dinner will taste better if she cooks it less frequently.

FoodRelationshipsMarriage+1
Memory Lane in the Kitchen

Memory Lane in the Kitchen

Why did I walk into the kitchen again? Oh right, I need to forget. I need to forget seven times to remember once!

NostalgiaFoodForgetfulness+1
Cooking Confidence in a Bottle

Cooking Confidence in a Bottle

Remember, a small bottle of vodka not only makes your table look nice but also covers any cooking mistakes.

DrinksFood
Fly in the Soup Dilemma

Fly in the Soup Dilemma

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Impossible! We used them all in the raisin bread...

FoodInsectsWordplay
Muffin Madness

Muffin Madness

Wow, it’s really hot in here! Whoa! A talking muffin?

CommunicationWordplayFood+1
Calorie Counting Crisis

Calorie Counting Crisis

Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet! As long as I don't eat anything else today and tomorrow.

FitnessFoodPizza
Steak Flipping Wisdom

Steak Flipping Wisdom

You can tell a lot about a man by how many times they flip their steaks while cooking.

FoodBarbecue