BROWSE DAD JOKES

896 jokes and counting — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Wordplay Animals Sarcasm Food Relationships Irony Philosophy Work Satire Life Motivation Technology Money Drinks Family Communication Age Math Health Parenting

Sophishticated

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.

Animals Wordplay Clothing+1

🙄0😂0

Beach Broom

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.

Wordplay Ocean Parenting+1

🙄0😂0

Dreamy Talent

I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed.

Sleep Irony Sarcasm+2

🙄0😂0

Ele-Phone Trouble

What do you call an elephant in a telephone booth? Stuck!

Animals Elephant Phone+1

🙄0😂0

See-Food Diet

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

Fitness Food Wordplay+1

🙄0😂0

Invisible Red

What is red, but invisible? No tomato.

Color Food Absurd+2

🙄0😂0

Moo-vie Night

Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the moo-vies.

Animals Farm Wordplay+2

🙄0😂0

Lunge Forward

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.

Marriage Fitness Wordplay+2

🙄0😂0

Noodle Deception

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

Wordplay Food

🙄0😂0

Hive Mystery

What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbeeleavable.

Wordplay Insects Animals+2

🙄0😂0

Spotted Leopard

Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted.

Animals Wordplay Nature+1

🙄0😂0

Selfish Crustaceans

Why don't crabs give to charity? Because they're shell-fish.

Animals Wordplay Sea-Life+1

🙄0😂0

Twin Tentacles

What do you call two octopuses that look the same? Itenticle.

Ocean Animals Wordplay+1

🙄0😂0

Alphabet Mystery

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know U.

Relationships Language Wordplay+1

🙄0😂0

Tomato Lag

What did the slow tomato say to the others? Don't worry, I'll ketchup.

Food Wordplay Vegetables+1

🙄0😂0

Salty Sneeze

Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.

Animals Sea-Life Wordplay+2

🙄0😂0

Geo-Puns

Geology rocks but geography's where it's at.

Wordplay Geography Science+1

🙄0😂0

IQ Misunderstanding

My IQ Test Results came back… They were negative.

Intelligence Self-Deprecating Sarcasm+1

🙄0😂0

Mean Average

My Math teacher called me average. How mean!

School Math Wordplay+1

🙄0😂0

Mermaid's Blush

Why did the mermaid blush? Because she saw the ocean's bottom!

Ocean Fantasy

🙄0😂0

Failed Math Profit

If I got 50 cents for every failed math exams, I'd have $6.30 now.

Math Failure Money

🙄0😂0

Electric Shock

People are shocked at how bad I am as an electrician.

Work Irony Self-Deprecating

🙄0😂0

Day Revolution

The rotation of Earth really made my day.

Wordplay Science Space+1

🙄0😂0

Life's Recipe

I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of Tequila.

Drinks Life Philosophy+1

🙄0😂0