BROWSE DAD JOKES

904 jokes and counting — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Money Work Wisdom Food Marriage Life Math Animals Aging Time Wife Family Philosophy Relationship Drinking Kids Career Music School Job

Black Tie, Wet Hair

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.

Fish Fashion Ocean

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Spell Check at Low Tide

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.

Beach Halloween Ocean

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Trophy for Standing Still

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Farm Career

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Olympic Level Horizontal

I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed.

Sleep Bed Rest

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Undead Goes Plant Based

What does a vegetarian zombie eat? GRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSSSS

Zombie Vegetarian Halloween+1

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A Real Tight Squeeze

What do you call an elephant in a telephone booth? Stuck!

Elephant Animals

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The Buffet Strategy

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

Food Diet Eating

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A Riddle With Layers

What is red, but invisible? No tomato.

Tomato Riddle Absurd+2

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Pasture Premiere Night

Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the moo-vies.

Cow Cows Movies+1

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One Cartridge One Love

My printer's name is Bob Marley because it's always jammin'

Music Office Technology

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Wife Workout Plan

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.

Wife Exercise Fitness+1

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Suspicious Pasta Bowl

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

Pasta Food Cooking

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No Escape Buzz

What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbeeleavable.

Bees Insects

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Big Cat Problem

Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted.

Animals Jungle

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Beach Bum Charity

Why don't crabs give to charity? Because they're shell-fish.

Money Beach Ocean

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Eight Arms Each

What do you call two octopuses that look the same? Itenticle.

Ocean

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Missing One Letter

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know U.

Alphabet Letters Spelling+1

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Slow Garden Drama

What did the slow tomato say to the others? Don't worry, I'll ketchup.

Tomato Food Garden+2

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Underwater Spice Trouble

Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.

Fish Ocean Water

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Earth Science Smackdown

Geology rocks but geography's where it's at.

Geography Science Education

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Lab Returned The Verdict

My IQ Test Results came back… They were negative.

Intelligence School

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Statistics Got Personal

My Math teacher called me average. How mean!

Math School Insult

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Trouble Under The Waves

Why did the mermaid blush? Because she saw the ocean's bottom!

Ocean Fish

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Tuition Well Spent

If I got 50 cents for every failed math exams, I'd have $6.30 now.

Math School Money

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