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Dad Jokes

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Career Jokes

22 career dad jokes. You asked for it.

Trophy for Standing Still

Trophy for Standing Still

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

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Quit Before They Knew

Quit Before They Knew

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

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Recliner Hall Of Fame

Recliner Hall Of Fame

People used to laugh when I would say I want to be a comedian. Well, nobody is laughing now!

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Reptile In Tailoring

Reptile In Tailoring

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.

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Say Yes First

Say Yes First

When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, β€˜Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.

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The Whole Trick

The Whole Trick

Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.

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Service With A Subtext

Service With A Subtext

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

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Entrepreneur Of The Year

Entrepreneur Of The Year

I tried to start a stationary business. Unfortunately, it just didn't go anywhere.

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Soft Career Pivot

Soft Career Pivot

How would a drummer be paid if he started selling pillows? Per cushion.

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Cornered At The Grill

Cornered At The Grill

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up. Are they looking for ideas?

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Loyalty by Ultimatum

Loyalty by Ultimatum

How long have I been working for this company? Ever since they threatened to fire me...

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Distance Makes The Plan

Distance Makes The Plan

The farther away the future is, the better it looks.

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Corner Office Material

Corner Office Material

To err is human. To blame it on somebody else shows management potential.

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The Real Office Skill

The Real Office Skill

It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it.

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Time Management Genius

Time Management Genius

I always arrive late at the office but I make up for it by leaving early.

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Career Counseling Hour

Career Counseling Hour

See that shadow on the wall? It's brighter than your future.

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Billable Loitering

Billable Loitering

I don't work here. I'm a consultant

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Promotion Mechanics

Promotion Mechanics

The secret to success is to know who to blame for your failures.

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Tell Them The Truth

Tell Them The Truth

Why do you want this job? I've just always been very passionate about not starving to death.

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Math Checks Out

Math Checks Out

A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer, but also shortens your workday.

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Slide Rule Optional

Slide Rule Optional

You don't need to be a genius to be an engineer!

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