Kids Jokes

23 kids dad jokes. You asked for it.

Ranked and Filed

Poop jokes aren't my favourite kind of joke. But they are a solid #2.

KidsFamilyHumor

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Extinct Level Stealth

What do you call a dinosaur playing hide and seek?? A Doyouthinkhesaurus.

DinosaurHideandseekKids+2

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Backyard Talent Crisis

Why don't people play more hide-and-seek? Because good players are hard to find!

HideandseekGamesKids+1

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Sibling Logistics

Please go play with your brother. That's basically why we had him.

FamilyKidsParenting

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Cute Try Champ

You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.

AgeOldKids+1

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Cornered At The Grill

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up. Are they looking for ideas?

KidsCareerIdeas

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Witness For The Prosecution

Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.

ChildhoodMemoryDrinking+2

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Hospital Records, Champ

Were any famous men born on your birthday? No, only little babies.

BirthdayKidsFamily

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Tuition By Combustion

There's nothing I've learned from being a father that I couldn't just as easily have figured out from setting all my money on fire.

FatherhoodParentingKids+2

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Romance Without The Romance

Having teenagers is just paying for a bunch of dates that you don't get to go on.

ParentingDatingKids+1

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A Bouncing Classic

When do people start using their trampoline? Spring-time.

SeasonsKids

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Class Of North Pole

What do elves learn in school? The ELF-ABET!

SchoolAlphabetChristmas+1

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Boots Still Squeaky

What do you call a young army? Infantry.

Kids

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With Light Edits

I love you just the way you are, but I do have a few suggestions.

LoveFamilyRoast+1

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Refrigerator Gallery

I'm afraid my kid will become a famous artist, and I'll have thrown away a fortune in their early work.

KidsArtParenting+1

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Slow Down, Kid

75% of time with your kids is gone by age 12. 90% by age 18. Be present and cherish these years... They go fast.

KidsParentingTime+2

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The Long Game

Treat your kids well! They'll be the ones picking your nursing home.

KidsParentingFamily+1

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Apple, Meet Different Tree

Your kid may be a genius, but you’re still a dummy.

KidsParentingFamily+1

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Best Decision Or Hostage Situation

People say having kids is the best thing in the world, but you only ever hear that from the victims.

KidsParentingFamily+2

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Free Family Planning Tip

Learn from your parent's mistakes. Use birth control.

ParentsKidsFamily+2

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Premium Fuel, Premium You

Most expensive vehicle to operate in 2024-2025

CarKidsMoney+1

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Two Roommates Forever

2 mysterious people live in my house. Somebody & Nobody. Somebody did it and Nobody knows who.

FamilyKidsHousehold+1

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Tall Order, Bad Strategy

Why don't giraffes ever win at hide and seek? They just can't help but stick out!

AnimalsHideandseekKids

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