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Errand Escapade
I'm at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out...
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Longevity Burden
If I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, I may live long enough to be a real burden to my loved ones. Please, pass me the wine.
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Life's Recipe
I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of Tequila.
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Self-Response
Don't you hate it when someone answers his own questions? I do.
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Clean Evidence
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
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Blood Mystery
I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask way too personal questions. Who's blood is this? Where did you get it?
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