Mortality Jokes

10 mortality dad jokes. You asked for it.

I'm afraid for the calendar! Its days are numbered.

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Every tattoo is temporary because we are all slowly dying.

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Huge mistake challenging Death to a pillow fight. I was not prepared for the reaper cushions.

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Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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It's not the fall that kills you... It's the sudden stop at the end.

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I have all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4:00 p.m. today

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I always feel relieved when my doctor says something is normal for my age. But then I remember that someday dying will also be normal for my age.

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Take it easy. Someday you'll be dead, none of this will matter.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it ends sooner for fat people.

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Everyone has two lives, and the second starts when you realize you have just one...

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