Drinks Jokes

40 drinks dad jokes. You asked for it.

Life's Recipe

I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of Tequila.

DrinksLifePhilosophy+1

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Fishy Philosophy

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

FishDrinksMen+2

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Cocktail Promise

What did the bartender say to his date? Alcohol you later!

DrinksRelationshipsWordplay+1

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Phantom's Problem

Why did the ghost go to rehab? He was addicted to boos.

WordplayGhostsAddiction+2

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The Bossy Bartender

A bossy man walked into a bar. Then ordered everyone a round.

WordplayBarsSocial+2

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The Warm-Hearted Grill Master

A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer.

WordplayBarbecueSocial+2

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Beer Logic

Education is important, beer is importanter.

WordplayDrinksSchool+1

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The Perfect Pour

You need a nice and thick head of foam, it enhances the aroma and flavor! Plus, it protects the beer from oxidation, keeping it fresh longer!

BarDrinks

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Soda Pressing Job

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

WordplayWorkDrinks

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Cheers to T-Days

I only drink on days beginning with 'T' - Tuesday, Thursday, Today, and Tomorrow.

WordplayDrinksLifestyle

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Three Shots to the Floor

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

DrinksBarParty

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Man's Diet: A Beerful Balance

What's a man's balanced diet? A beer in each hand!

DrinksFoodMen+1

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Remembering to Forget with Alcohol

If alcohol damages your short term memory... Short term memory. Just imagine what alcohol can do.

DrinksNostalgiaForgetfulness+1

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Old Biker's Secret

There are drunk bikers, there are old bikers. But... there are no old, drunk bikers!

AgeDrinksStereotypes+1

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Tipsy Confidential

Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret.

DrinksWorkSecrets+1

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The Whiskey Weight Loss Plan

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

DrinksFitnessHealth

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License Logic

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

WordplayDrinksCars

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Bowling with a Twist

My drinking team has a bowling problem.

SportsDrinksLeisure

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The Sobering Truth

I liked beer so much that my family didn't know I drank until they saw me sober!

DrinksFamilySecrets+2

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A Shocking Sight

You owe me a drink. You're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.

InsultAppearanceSurprise+1

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A Chemical Solution

Not to get technical, but in chemistry, alcohol is a solution.

ScienceChemistryWordplay+1

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Cooking Confidence in a Bottle

Remember, a small bottle of vodka not only makes your table look nice but also covers any cooking mistakes.

DrinksFood

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Coffee vs. Red Bull

I love coffee. It's Red Bull for old people.

CoffeePhysicsAge+2

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St. Patrick's Day Math

I may be just 10% Irish, but on St. Patrick's Day, I'll be 100% drunk.

DrinksWordplayCelebration

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