Alcohol Jokes

9 alcohol dad jokes. You asked for it.

Closing Tab Speech

What did the bartender say to his date? Alcohol you later!

BartenderDatingBar+2

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Counting Lessons

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

DrinkingCountingAlcohol

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Cheers To Whatever

If alcohol damages your short term memory... Short term memory. Just imagine what alcohol can do.

AlcoholMemoryDrinking+2

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Two Stools One Diagnosis

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

BartenderDrinksAlcohol+1

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Beaker Logic

Not to get technical, but in chemistry, alcohol is a solution.

ChemistryAlcoholScience+1

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The Tape Never Lies

Dear Alcohol, we had a deal—funnier, smarter, better dancer. I saw the video. We need to talk.

AlcoholDrinkingDancing+1

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Resolution Failure

What happened to the man who thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year? He gave up thinking!

DrinkingThinkingAlcohol

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Generous Donor

I plan to donate my liver to an alcoholic so I’ll know it’s a match.

AlcoholDrinkingHealth

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Repeat Experiment

Alcohol won't heal a broken heart but that won't stop me from trying again tonight.

AlcoholDrinkingRelationships+1

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