Electric Shock
People are shocked at how bad I am as an electrician.
WorkIronySelf-Deprecating
IRONY JOKES
18 irony dad jokes. You asked for it.
Self-Response
Don't you hate it when someone answers his own questions? I do.
Self-ReferenceIronySarcasm+1
Statistical Drowning
Heard about the statistician who drowned in a river? It was only three feet deep on average.
MathWorkIrony+1
Clean Evidence
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
TechnologyLifestyleSatire+1
Stage Fright
People used to laugh when I would say I want to be a comedian. Well, nobody is laughing now!
IronySelf-ReferenceWork+2
Word Theft
I invented a new word: Plagiarism!
InventionWordplayLanguage+2
Fire Starting Challenge
Why does it take one match to start a forest fire? But a whole box to start a camp fire?
IronyFireNature+1
Marital Revelation
My wife and I were happy for 25 years⦠and then we met.
MarriageRelationshipsIrony+1
Procrastination Advice
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
ProcrastinationIronySatire+2
Solo Consultation
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
Self-DeprecatingIronySarcasm+2
Debate Clarification
I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you are wrong.
SarcasmCommunicationRelationships+2
Laughter on the Sidewalk
Everything is funny, as long as itβs happening to somebody else!
IronyObservationalSarcasm
The Power of Worry
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
WorryLifePerspective+2
Infinite Wealth, Limited Spending
I have enough money to last the rest of my life... as long as I don't buy and eat anything.
MoneyFoodIrony
Financial Planning: A Short-Term View
I have all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4:00 p.m. today
Dark HumorMoneyDeath+1
The True Meaning of Happiness
I never understood the true meaning of happiness until I got married... But by then, it was already too late.
MarriageHappinessIrony+1
Longevity Burden
If I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, I may live long enough to be a real burden to my loved ones. Please, pass me the wine.
FamilyDrinksIrony+2
Pill Paradox
I went to the doctor, and he said I'd need to take a pill every day for the rest of my life. But he only gave me 4 pills???
WordplayHealthLife+1