Parenting Jokes

31 parenting dad jokes. You asked for it.

Beach Broom

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.

Wordplay Ocean Parenting+1

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Moo-vie Night

Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the moo-vies.

Animals Farm Wordplay+2

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Spotted Leopard

Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted.

Animals Wordplay Nature+1

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Tomato Lag

What did the slow tomato say to the others? Don't worry, I'll ketchup.

Food Wordplay Vegetables+1

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Salty Sneeze

Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.

Animals Sea-Life Wordplay+2

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Belt Compliment

What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt!

Math Wordplay Clothing+2

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Blooming Letter

Why is the letter 'A' like a flower? Because a 'B' comes after it!

Language Wordplay Educational+2

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Eyeless Fish

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A FSH!

Wordplay Animals Parenting+1

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Edible Assignment

Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it's a piece of cake!!

School Food Misunderstanding+2

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Pun Parenthood

It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa.

Wordplay Parenting Family+1

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Musical Paternity

How does a father listen to MUSIC. With Pop Tunes and a dad-mirable sense of humor.

Family Music Wordplay+2

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Dental Bear

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

Animals Wordplay Bears+2

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Detective Reptile

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.

Animals Clothing Wordplay+2

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Divine Parenting

My teenage son treats me like a god. He acts like I don't exist until he wants something.

Wordplay Parenting Religion+2

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Hide and Seek

Why don't people play more hide-and-seek? Because good players are hard to find!

Games Wordplay Parenting+1

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Tyrannosaurus T-Shirt

T-shirt is short for tyrannosaurus shirt. It's because of the small arms.

Wordplay Dinosaurs Clothing+2

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Sibling Playtime

Please go play with your brother. That's basically why we had him.

Wordplay Parenting Family+1

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Dad's Jokes

If a mother is laughing at the father's jokes, it means they have guests.

Wordplay Family Relationships+2

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Castle Comforts

I sleep in a castle every two weeks. It's my fort night.

Wordplay Parenting

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Career Advice from Kids

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up. Are they looking for ideas?

Parenting Wordplay

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Born on Your Birthday

Were any famous men born on your birthday? No, only little babies.

Age Parenting Men+1

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Priceless Parenting

There's nothing I've learned from being a father that I couldn't just as easily have figured out from setting all my money on fire.

Parenting Money Life+2

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Paying for Teen Dates

Having teenagers is just paying for a bunch of dates that you don't get to go on.

Parenting Teenagers Relationships+2

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The ABCs of Elves

What do elves learn in school? The ELF-ABET!

Wordplay Fantasy School+2

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