NORTH POLE MISHAP

My life was great until I visited the North Pole. From there it all went south.

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I like mountains but volcanoes are ash holes.

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Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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I'm retired in the sense that I was tired yesterday and I am tired again today.

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What do you call a mountain where people never sleep? Mt Neverest!

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it ends sooner for fat people.

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The grass is always greener on the other side because it's fertilized with bullshit!

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