Life Jokes

56 life dad jokes. You asked for it.

Life's Recipe

I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of Tequila.

Drinks Life Philosophy+1

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Usefulness Perspective

Don't ever think you're completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

Sarcasm Motivation Life+1

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Procrastination Advice

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Procrastination Irony Satire+2

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Warning Role

It could be that your purpose is to serve as a warning for others.

Insult Warning Sarcasm+2

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Tomorrow's Chance

Life always offers you a second chance. It's called TOMORROW.

Life Motivation Future+1

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Heart and Brain

Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along.

Advice Philosophy Sarcasm+2

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Thought Dive

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.

Intelligence Philosophy Psychology+2

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Uncharted Years

I don’t know how to act my age because I’ve never been this old before.

Age Life Experience+2

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Doors 101

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Life Philosophy Motivation+2

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Chuckle Quota

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

Motivation Life Happiness+2

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Clockwise Concern

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Motivation Philosophy Life+2

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Good Health

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Health Seniors Wordplay+2

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Tired Retirement

I'm retired in the sense that I was tired yesterday and I am tired again today.

Wordplay Retirement Life+2

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The Work Cycle

I work to buy a car to go to work.

Wordplay Work Cars+1

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Chasing Life's Meaning

Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.

Philosophy Life Change+1

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The Power of Worry

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

Worry Life Perspective+2

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Aging and Fire Safety

The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.

Age Life Safety+1

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The Key to Happiness

People say money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you had enough money, you can have a key made.

Money Happiness Life

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Doing It Quickly

When you don't know what you are doing... It's best to do it quickly.

Speed Advice Philosophy+2

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Priceless Parenting

There's nothing I've learned from being a father that I couldn't just as easily have figured out from setting all my money on fire.

Parenting Money Life+2

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A Story of Resilience

There are no winners in life Nope… Only survivors.

Motivation Life Survival

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Memories of a Wandering Mind

Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.

Nostalgia Experience Life

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Hole-in-One Advice

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

Philosophy Advice Sports+1

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Path to Wisdom

To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.

Philosophy Age Life+1

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