Wife Jokes

34 wife dad jokes. You asked for it.

Recliner Confessions

I never understood the true meaning of happiness until I got married... But by then, it was already too late.

MarriageWifeHappiness+1

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Climate Control Issues

My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she’s hot. But honestly... I’m not a fan.

WifeMarriageRelationship

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Honest Vows

Would you have married me if I didn't inherit a fortune from my father? Honey, I would have married you no matter who left you a fortune.

MarriageWifeMoney+1

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Calendar Has Other Ideas

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She said: "Great, I booked it for Thursday."

WifeMarriageDeath

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Roman Holiday, Cheap

WHAT DID SPARTACUS SAY WHEN THE LION ATE HIS WIFE? NOTHING! HE WAS GLADIATOR...

Wife

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Margin Of Error

After many years, I finally got my wife to be on time. But there's one little problem: now she's ready exactly when we're supposed to arrive, not when we're supposed to leave!

WifePunctualityMarriage+2

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Apology With Footnotes

My wife apologised to me the other day. She said she was sorry for ever marrying me.

WifeMarriageApology+2

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Festive Appliance Romance

I know it's October but I have already ordered my wife a new fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

FridgeChristmasWife+2

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Bowl Of Diplomacy

My wife said I make salads too dry. Definitely something that needs addressing...

SaladWifeKitchen+2

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Garage Innovation

My wife said I was nuts for building a car out of spaghetti... But you should've seen her face when I drove pasta!

WifeCarPasta+1

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