MARRIAGE JOKES

12 marriage dad jokes. You asked for it.

My wife is always stealing my T-shirts and sweater… but if I take one of her dresses… suddenly… "we need to talk."

My wife and I were happy for 25 years… and then we met.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Husband: For the last 28 years, all you've done is find mistakes in anything I say. Wife: 29 years...

A stock market crash is worse than a divorce. You lose half your money but your wife is still around.

What's the leading cause of divorce? Marriage.

My wife set a limit of how much we can spend on each other for Christmas. It's $100 on me and $500 on her.

Every wife should understand one thing: A dinner will taste better if she cooks it less frequently.

Marriage and smoking are similar. You start because you want to and you continue because you have to.

I never understood the true meaning of happiness until I got married... But by then, it was already too late.

Would you have married me if I didn't inherit a fortune from my father? Honey, I would have married you no matter who left you a fortune.

My wife apologised to me the other day. She said she was sorry for ever marrying me.