SLEEP MATH

Every night I'm like 'I have exactly 5 hours, 37 minutes, 19 seconds... If I fall asleep in 2 minutes'

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I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed.

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They used to time me with a stopwatch. Now, they use a calendar.

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I'm afraid for the calendar! Its days are numbered.

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I haven't owned a watch for I don't know how long.

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I ordered a chicken and an egg from amazon. I'll let you know…

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A yawn is just a silent scream for a coffee!

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