Sleep Jokes

17 sleep dad jokes. You asked for it.

Olympic Level Horizontal

I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed.

SleepBedRest

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Up All Night Astronomy

I stayed up all night trying to figure where the Sun was… Then it dawned on me.

Sleep

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Productivity Tip

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go back to sleep.

DreamsSleepFuture+1

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Tiny But Mighty

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.

SleepInsects

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Stakeout In Slippers

Why couldn't the cop get out of bed? He was an undercover cop.

PoliceCopBed+1

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Bedtime Wardrobe Crisis

What do you call people who sleep in their socks? Tiny.

SleepBedFeet+1

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Royal Sleeping Arrangements

I sleep in a castle every two weeks. It's my fort night.

SleepCalendar

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Sunrise Is A Rumor

I could be a morning person... if morning started around noon.

MorningSleepLazy

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Patience Is A Pillow

I finally got eight hours sleep. Took me four days but whatever.

SleepTiredRest+1

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Altitude Insomnia

What do you call a mountain where people never sleep? Mt Neverest!

SleepInsomnia

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Math Checks Out

A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer, but also shortens your workday.

SleepWorkCareer+2

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Eternal Youth Hack

Regular naps prevent old age. Especially if you take them while driving.

SleepDrivingAging+1

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Horizontal Enlightenment

The more naps I take, the better I understand the world

SleepWisdomRest+1

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Long Range Forecast

Insomnia is great... only three more sleeps until Christmas. And it is still September!

InsomniaSleepChristmas

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Bedtime Calculus

Every night I'm like 'I have exactly 5 hours, 37 minutes, 19 seconds... If I fall asleep in 2 minutes'

SleepInsomniaMath

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Ambition, On Delay

Keep the dream alive. And hit the snooze button.

SleepDreamsWork+1

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Adulthood, As Promised

When I was a kid, bedtime was 9 p.m. I couldn’t wait to grow up so I could go to bed whenever I wanted. Well... That’s still 9 p.m.

SleepAgingTired

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