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Late Edition

Topic

Holidays & Seasons

Festive groans on a schedule.

19 jokes

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Number on the Cake

Sep 26, 2026

I want to be invited but I don't want to go!

Regrets Only

Sep 22, 2026

Dear Alcohol, we had a deal—funnier, smarter, better dancer. I saw the video. We need to talk.

The Tape Never Lies

Aug 28, 2026

Why did the ghost go to rehab? He was addicted to boos.

Spirits in Recovery

Jun 21, 2026

I dated a zombie once. When we broke up, she fell apart.

Reanimated Romance

Jun 6, 2026

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

Gravity Always Wins

May 13, 2026

Were any famous men born on your birthday? No, only little babies.

Birth Records Request

May 5, 2026

What do elves learn in school? The ELF-ABET!

North Pole Schoolhouse

Apr 26, 2026

How do you make a lemon drop? Let it fall from the tree.

Citrus Gravity Lesson

Apr 24, 2026

So far, so good. So far, so good. So far, so good. So far, so good.

Status Report From the Ledge

Apr 16, 2026

It's not the fall that kills you… It's the sudden stop at the end.

Physics for Free

Apr 12, 2026

Just tell me when and where, and I'll be there 20 minutes late.

RSVP Policy

Apr 4, 2026

Every night I'm like 'I have exactly 5 hours, 37 minutes, 19 seconds… If I fall asleep in 2 minutes.'

Bedtime Calculus

Mar 26, 2026

Where did everyone go to party in medieval times? The Knight Club.

Castle Nightlife

Mar 23, 2026

My roommate says our house is haunted. I've been living here for 300 years and I haven't noticed shit.

Quiet Neighborhood

Mar 19, 2026

I am more pissed off than a dragon trying to blow out candles.

Dragon Birthday Party

Feb 26, 2026

You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.

Birthday Card Material

Jan 31, 2026

I'm pretty sober, but I'm prettier drunk.

Lighting Director's Choice

Jan 16, 2026

Once you reach a venerable age… You just need 1 candle on your cake for one more year on Earth!

Fire Marshal Approved

Jan 4, 2026