Skip to main content
Dad Jokes mascot
Dad Jokes

Certified groan material

Ranked and Filed

RANKED AND FILED

Poop jokes aren't my favourite kind of joke. But they are a solid #2.

Dad's Take

Some battles in a marriage you don't win, you just place. Coming in second to her mother on every issue for thirty years is its own kind of medal.

SHARE THIS GROAN:

MORE JOKES LIKE THIS
Sibling Logistics

Sibling Logistics

Please go play with your brother. That's basically why we had him.

πŸ™„0πŸ˜‚0
Hospital Records, Champ

Hospital Records, Champ

Were any famous men born on your birthday? No, only little babies.

πŸ™„0πŸ˜‚0
Tuition By Combustion

Tuition By Combustion

There's nothing I've learned from being a father that I couldn't just as easily have figured out from setting all my money on fire.

πŸ™„0πŸ˜‚0
With Light Edits

With Light Edits

I love you just the way you are, but I do have a few suggestions.

πŸ™„0πŸ˜‚0
Slow Down, Kid

Slow Down, Kid

75% of time with your kids is gone by age 12. 90% by age 18. Be present and cherish these years... They go fast.

πŸ™„0πŸ˜‚0
The Long Game

The Long Game

Treat your kids well! They'll be the ones picking your nursing home.

πŸ™„0πŸ˜‚0
BROWSE THESE CATEGORIES