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Poop jokes aren't my favourite kind of joke. But they are a solid #2.

Dad's Take

Some battles in a marriage you don't win, you just place. Coming in second to her mother on every issue for thirty years is its own kind of medal.

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Please go play with your brother. That's basically why we had him.

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Were any famous men born on your birthday? No, only little babies.

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There's nothing I've learned from being a father that I couldn't just as easily have figured out from setting all my money on fire.

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I love you just the way you are, but I do have a few suggestions.

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75% of time with your kids is gone by age 12. 90% by age 18. Be present and cherish these years... They go fast.

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Treat your kids well! They'll be the ones picking your nursing home.

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