MAKE YOUR OWN NEWS

If you don't like the news, go out and make some!

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Breaking news: there's a global coin shortage! We're all running low on common "cents"!

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It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then... don't say it!

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Love one another! If it doesn't work, just interchange the last two words.

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If you're aiming for FAILURE, just pretend you know EVERYTHING!!!

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What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.

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What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.

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