ASTEROID EXCUSE

Been waiting for the asteroid all day... just to get out of preparing that Monday morning team briefing.

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People are shocked at how bad I am as an electrician.

Doctor, an invisible patient is on line one. Tell him I can't see him right now.

Heard about the statistician who drowned in a river? It was only three feet deep on average.

Ham & Eggs, a day's work for a chicken and a lifetime commitment for a pig.

People used to laugh when I would say I want to be a comedian. Well, nobody is laughing now!

You should try meditation. It's at least better than sitting and doing nothing?