ASKED WITH LOVE

Is your bottom jealous of the amount of crap that comes out of your mouth?

Dad's Take

Talk half as much and finish twice as many things. The world has plenty of mouths and a shortage of people who actually show up.

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Can you die from constipation? I'm a little worried about how full of shit you are…

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80% of the brain is fluid. Unfortunately in your case, it’s brake fluid.

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I don't believe in myths like the one that states you have a brain.

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You're about as useless as an asshole with tastebuds.

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My Math teacher called me average. How mean!

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I like mountains but volcanoes are ash holes.

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