SLOW LANE CONNOISSEURS

Why do some people eat snails? Because they don't like fast food.

Dad's Take

Cook one meal a week that takes longer than a YouTube short. Patience is a flavor your generation has almost completely forgotten the taste of.

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I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

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What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

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What did the slow tomato say to the others? Don't worry, I'll ketchup.

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I asked the waiter how they prepared their Chicken. "Nothing special," he explained. "We just tell them they're going to die."

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Don't bite off more than you can chew unless it's pizza.

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Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

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