Diet Jokes

9 diet dad jokes. You asked for it.

The Buffet Strategy

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

FoodDietEating

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Grocery Aisle Confession

What did the vegan say? I made a big missed steak.

SteakFoodDiet

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Nutritionally Symmetrical

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

DietFoodBalance+1

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Diet Plan Compromised

I was on the weight watchers website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?

DietInternet

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Negative Progress Report

I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 more to go.

WeightDietGoals

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Two Fisted Wisdom

What's a man's balanced diet? A beer in each hand!

BeerDietDrinking+2

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Results May Vary

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

DietDrinkingWeekend+1

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Salad Has Enemies

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

VegetarianAnimalsFood+1

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On Track, Technically

Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet! As long as I don't eat anything else today and tomorrow.

DietFoodEating+1

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