DEFINITIONAL LOOPHOLE

I'm retired in the sense that I was tired yesterday and I am tired again today.

Dad's Take

Rest isn't a reward you earn on Saturday. Spread it across the week or your body bills you with interest, and the late fees are brutal.

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MORE JOKES LIKE THIS

It's been a long week. - Me, in the middle of Tuesday.

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I finally got eight hours sleep. Took me four days but whatever.

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The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.

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Why did the zombie dad stay home from work? Because he felt dead tired.

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People are shocked at how bad I am as an electrician.

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Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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