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No theme, no warning. Dad picks whatever made him laugh in the garage this week.

163 jokes

I think my neighbor is stalking me… I saw her googling my name through my telescope last night.

Suspicious Stargazing

Oct 11, 2026

My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

Boss's Orders

Oct 10, 2026

I think I'm agnostic, but I haven't decided.

Maybe, Ask Later

Oct 8, 2026

If you say the word "GULLIBLE" really slowly, it sounds like lemons.

Slow Word Experiment

Oct 6, 2026

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and whatever you hit is the target.

Bullseye by Definition

Oct 4, 2026

I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust.

Garage Sale Confidential

Oct 3, 2026

A new poll suggests that most people will likely finish reading any sentence that starts with 'A new poll suggests.'

Caught You Looking

Oct 1, 2026

The more naps I take, the better I understand the world.

Horizontal Enlightenment

Sep 29, 2026

Why don't samurai ever use pencils? Because they'd rather draw their swords.

No Erasers in Battle

Sep 27, 2026

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Number on the Cake

Sep 26, 2026

2 mysterious people live in my house. Somebody & Nobody. Somebody did it and Nobody knows who.

Two Roommates Forever

Sep 24, 2026

I want to be invited but I don't want to go!

Regrets Only

Sep 22, 2026

The rotation of Earth really made my day.

Earth Gets a Compliment

Sep 20, 2026

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now when I get my electricity bill, I am afraid of the light.

Bill Shock Specialist

Sep 19, 2026

Money can't buy happiness, but it can definitely help you hunt for it faster… in a shiny new convertible!

Hunting for Happiness

Sep 17, 2026

I had a parrot and it could talk. But it didn't say it was hungry, so it died.

Parrot Communication Issues

Sep 15, 2026

English is weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

Spelled Like That on Purpose

Sep 13, 2026

At 61, Grandma started walking five miles a day to stay fit. Now she is 97! And we have no clue where she is…

Grandma Went Long

Sep 12, 2026

Having teenagers is just paying for a bunch of dates that you don't get to go on.

The Teenager Budget

Sep 10, 2026

My wife and I had a two-hour fight about whether or not we were fighting.

Procedural Marital Combat

Sep 8, 2026

To err is human. To blame it on somebody else shows management potential.

Corner Office Material

Sep 6, 2026

To steal ideas from one is plagiarism. To steal ideas from many is research.

Term Paper Loophole

Sep 5, 2026

Did you hear about the dwarf psychic that escaped from jail? He was a small medium at large.

Tabloid of the Year

Sep 3, 2026

What is the new pirates movie rated? Arrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Box Office Booty

Sep 1, 2026