Told by Dad, who is very proudFree. Always. No account. No paywall.

One illustrated dad joke. Every day. Free.

Front pageCalendarBinge modeThemesTopicsThe BookShopSubmit a joke
Late Edition

Topic

Life & Wisdom

Age, time and lessons nobody asked for, delivered kindly.

65 jokes

I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and catch up with them later.

Dream Chasing Postponed

Oct 12, 2026

I think I’m agnostic, but I haven’t decided.

Maybe, Ask Later

Oct 8, 2026

Keep the dream alive. And hit the snooze button.

Dream Maintenance

Oct 5, 2026

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and whatever you hit is the target.

Bullseye by Definition

Oct 4, 2026

The more naps I take, the better I understand the world.

Horizontal Enlightenment

Sep 29, 2026

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Number on the Cake

Sep 26, 2026

I want to be invited but I don’t want to go!

Regrets Only

Sep 22, 2026

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely help you hunt for it faster… in a shiny new convertible!

Hunting for Happiness

Sep 17, 2026

Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.

Wheels of Time

Sep 4, 2026

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Procrastinators Manifesto

Aug 31, 2026

If anything is possible, is it possible for something to be impossible?

Possibly Impossible

Aug 29, 2026

There are drunk bikers, there are old bikers. But… there are no old, drunk bikers!

Odds on the Open Road

Aug 23, 2026

The sun is going to go out in 4 billion years. And you sit there… acting like everything is fine!

Cosmic Doomsday Drill

Aug 16, 2026

I think, therefore I can’t get anything done.

Thinker’s Block

Aug 15, 2026

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

Perfect Worry Record

Aug 13, 2026

I never lose my car in the parking lot. It’s just temporarily misplaced!

Geographic Difficulties

Aug 11, 2026

I procrastinate so that by the time I get to my tasks, I’ll be older and wiser.

Aged to Excellence

Aug 1, 2026

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Humble Beginnings

Jul 21, 2026

I love coffee. It’s Red Bull for old people.

Mug Fueled Existence

Jul 17, 2026

I’m afraid for the calendar! Its days are numbered.

Wall Decor in Peril

Jul 9, 2026

I haven’t owned a watch for I don’t know how long.

Wristless and Free

Jul 2, 2026

All I ask is a chance to prove money can’t make me happy.

Just Give Me a Shot

Jun 27, 2026

Upgrade your weekend, take Monday off…

Calendar Upgrade

Jun 25, 2026

Treat your kids well! They’ll be the ones picking your nursing home.

The Long Game

Jun 23, 2026