HOSPITAL RECORDS, CHAMP

Were any famous men born on your birthday? No, only little babies.

Dad's Take

Greatness arrives in small, loud packages, and usually at three in the morning. Hold it carefully — the years are shorter than the nights.

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Poop jokes aren't my favourite kind of joke. But they are a solid #2.

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Please go play with your brother. That's basically why we had him.

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There's nothing I've learned from being a father that I couldn't just as easily have figured out from setting all my money on fire.

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I love you just the way you are, but I do have a few suggestions.

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75% of time with your kids is gone by age 12. 90% by age 18. Be present and cherish these years... They go fast.

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Treat your kids well! They'll be the ones picking your nursing home.

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