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A Shocking Sight
You owe me a drink. You're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
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Longevity Burden
If I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, I may live long enough to be a real burden to my loved ones. Please, pass me the wine.
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Life's Recipe
I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of Tequila.
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Cocktail Promise
What did the bartender say to his date? Alcohol you later?
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Cheers to T-Days
I only drink on days beginning with 'T' - Tuesday, Thursday, Today, and Tomorrow.
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Three Shots to the Floor
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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