A SHOCKING SIGHT

You owe me a drink. You're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.

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I liked beer so much that my family didn't know I drank until they saw me sober!

I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of Tequila.

What did the bartender say to his date? Alcohol you later?

Your mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist Utopia.

I'm in shape... Round is shape, isn't it?

I only drink on days beginning with 'T' - Tuesday, Thursday, Today, and Tomorrow.