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Dad Jokes

Certified groan material

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Tired Retirement

Tired Retirement

I'm retired in the sense that I was tired yesterday and I am tired again today.

WordplayRetirementLife+2
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Greener Grass

Greener Grass

The grass is always greener on the other side because it's fertilized with bullshit!

WordplaySarcasmLife
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Aged to Perfection

Aged to Perfection

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.

DrinksAgeWordplay+2
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Life's Recipe

Life's Recipe

I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of Tequila.

DrinksLifePhilosophy+1
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Time Tracking

Time Tracking

They used to time me with a stopwatch. Now, they use a calendar.

AgeTimeSelf-Deprecating+2
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