THE LONG GAME

Treat your kids well! They'll be the ones picking your nursing home.

Dad's Take

Be kind to the people who'll outlive you. They keep score, and one day they pick the carpet.

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Please go play with your brother. That's basically why we had him.

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There's nothing I've learned from being a father that I couldn't just as easily have figured out from setting all my money on fire.

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75% of time with your kids is gone by age 12. 90% by age 18. Be present and cherish these years... They go fast.

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Your kid may be a genius, but you’re still a dummy.

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People say having kids is the best thing in the world, but you only ever hear that from the victims.

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Learn from your parent's mistakes. Use birth control.

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