PRETTY DRUNK

I'm pretty sober, but I'm prettier drunk.

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I plan to donate my liver to an alcoholic so I’ll know it’s a match.

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Alcohol won't heal a broken heart but that won't stop me from trying again tonight.

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Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.

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I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of Tequila.

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Russian dolls are so full of themselves.

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