Alphabet Mystery
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know U.
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Relationships Jokes
79 relationships dad jokes. You asked for it.
Optimistic Loan
Always borrow money from a pessimist. They'll never expect it back.
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Selective Hearing
My wife complains I don't listen… or something like that.
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Heartland Attraction
How do you win the heart of a female farmer? Attract her!
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Cocktail Promise
What did the bartender say to his date? Alcohol you later!
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Marital Revelation
My wife and I were happy for 25 years… and then we met.
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Improvement Motivation
My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person so I can get a better girlfriend.
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Cloudy People
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
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Debate Clarification
I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you are wrong.
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Eternal Tease
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
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Correction Years
Husband: For the last 28 years, all you've done is find mistakes in anything I say. Wife: 29 years...
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Agreement Strategy
How is arguing with a woman like reading a software license agreement? In the end you ignore it all and click 'I agree'.
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Lost in Translation
I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in department stores, so I wouldn’t read too much into it.
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Blame Game
I didn't say it was your fault, I just said I was blaming you.
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Communication Issues
Funny how they say we need to talk... when they really mean you need to listen.
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Dad's Jokes
If a mother is laughing at the father's jokes, it means they have guests.
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Future Girlfriend
Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
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Love and Opinions
No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves.
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Forest Wisdom
If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear it... is he still wrong?
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Marriage Expectations
Women marry hoping he'll change... Men marry believing she won't... Both are wrong!!!
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Miss Always Right
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always!
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