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Clothing Jokes

15 clothing dad jokes. You asked for it.

Wardrobe Negotiations

Wardrobe Negotiations

My wife is always stealing my T-shirts and sweater… but if I take one of her dresses… suddenly… "we need to talk."

MarriageClothingGender+2
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Stomach Arrest

Stomach Arrest

What did the police say to his hungry stomach? Freeze! You're under a vest!

CrimeWordplaySatire+1
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Wardrobe Wheels

Wardrobe Wheels

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

WordplayClothingTransport+1
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Scientific Style

Scientific Style

What brand of underwear do scientists wear? 'Kelvin Klein' wear.

WordplayScienceClothing+1
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The Sock-Sleeper Society

The Sock-Sleeper Society

What do you call people who sleep in their socks? Tiny.

WordplaySleepLifestyle+1
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Tyrannosaurus T-Shirt

Tyrannosaurus T-Shirt

T-shirt is short for tyrannosaurus shirt. It's because of the small arms.

WordplayDinosaursClothing+2
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Polarizing Sunglasses

Polarizing Sunglasses

Half my friends love my new sunglasses, the other half hate them. They're really polarizing...

WordplayClothingFriends+1
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Password Privacy 101

Password Privacy 101

Think of your passwords like your underwear: never share them, change them regularly, and keep them off your desk.

PasswordClothingWordplay+1
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Still Fits!

Still Fits!

Yesterday, I wore something from 5 years ago, and it still fit! I'm so proud! Okay... It was just socks, but still!

ClothingFitnessConfidence+1
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Flip-Flips

Flip-Flips

What did the guy with two left feet ask at the shoe store? Got any flip-flips?

ClothingWordplay
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