Skip to main content
Dad Jokes mascot
Dad Jokes

Certified groan material

Undead Goes Plant Based

UNDEAD GOES PLANT BASED

What does a vegetarian zombie eat? GRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSSSS

Dad's Take

Tell me that wasn't worth the breath I held to deliver it. A whole bit and not one drop of blood. Every few years your aunt announces a new diet and the whole family has to renovate the grill. Last summer it was oat milk in the coffee. I poured it out the window for the squirrels and they didn't want it either. Eat what your grandfather ate and live exactly as long as he did, kid. He made it to ninety on butter and spite.

SHARE THIS GROAN:

MORE JOKES LIKE THIS
Naming Rights

Naming Rights

If I discovered a new animal, I'd call it a Quorn! Just to mess with vegetarians.

๐Ÿ™„0๐Ÿ˜‚0
Salad Has Enemies

Salad Has Enemies

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

๐Ÿ™„0๐Ÿ˜‚0
Spell Check at Low Tide

Spell Check at Low Tide

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.

๐Ÿ™„0๐Ÿ˜‚0
The Buffet Strategy

The Buffet Strategy

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

๐Ÿ™„0๐Ÿ˜‚0
A Riddle With Layers

A Riddle With Layers

What is red, but invisible? No tomato.

๐Ÿ™„0๐Ÿ˜‚0
Suspicious Pasta Bowl

Suspicious Pasta Bowl

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

๐Ÿ™„0๐Ÿ˜‚0
BROWSE THESE CATEGORIES