Retirement Jokes

6 retirement dad jokes. You asked for it.

Definitional Loophole

I'm retired in the sense that I was tired yesterday and I am tired again today.

RetirementWorkAging

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The Retirement Plan

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

MoneyRetirementShopping+1

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Tight Budget Window

I have all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.

MoneyTimeRetirement+1

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Retirement Date Pending

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.

RetirementMoneyFinance

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Estate Planning, Loosely

If I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, I may live long enough to be a real burden to my loved ones. Please, pass me the wine.

WineAgingRetirement

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Retired Sailor Checks In

What did the retired sailor say? Long time, no sea.

RetirementOceanBoat

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