Retirement Jokes

9 retirement dad jokes. You asked for it.

Quit Before They Knew

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

MoneyFinanceCareer+1

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Driving Range Confessional

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

SportsRetirement

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Definitional Loophole

I'm retired in the sense that I was tired yesterday and I am tired again today.

RetirementTiredWork+2

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The Retirement Plan

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

MoneyBudgetRetirement+1

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Tight Budget Window

I have all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4:00 p.m. today

MoneyRetirementFinance+2

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Wrong Math, Friend

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.

RetirementMoneyWork+1

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Held The Line At Zero

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

MoneyWealthSuccess+1

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Estate Planning, Loosely

If I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, I may live long enough to be a real burden to my loved ones. Please, pass me the wine.

WineDrinkingAging+1

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Anchors Up, Pension Down

What did the retired sailor say? Long time, no sea

RetirementOcean

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