THREE WAS NEVER COMING

Hand to God, your uncle Hector did this exact bit at the wedding and nobody invited him back. I am undeterred. The trick to any exit, kid, is the count nobody finished. Anybody can leave on three, but leave on two and they will swear they saw smoke. That is how your uncle Hector left dinner that night, and to this day your aunt says he was magic. The man was at a Denny.