SCREEN-TIME MISSION

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

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You should try meditation. It's at least better than sitting and doing nothing?

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I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed.

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I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of Tequila.

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It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.

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My goal for the weekend is to move just enough so people don't think I'm dead.

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