Drinks Jokes

40 drinks dad jokes. You asked for it.

Pretty Drunk

I'm pretty sober, but I'm prettier drunk.

Drinks Wordplay Sarcasm

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Alcoholic Expectations

Dear Alcohol, we had a deal—funnier, smarter, better dancer. I saw the video. We need to talk.

Drinks Reality

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Longevity Burden

If I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, I may live long enough to be a real burden to my loved ones. Please, pass me the wine.

Family Drinks Irony+2

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Clean and Sober

"Clean and sober" simply means I've showered and I'm headed to the pub.

Drinks Wordplay Pub+1

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New Year's Resolution

What happened to the man who thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year? He gave up thinking!

Drinks Irony Wordplay

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Relationship Status

Relationship Status: Table for one but drinks for two.

Relationships Drinks Wordplay+1

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Liver Donation Plan

I plan to donate my liver to an alcoholic so I’ll know it’s a match.

Drinks Donation Wordplay+2

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Heartbreakers Club

Alcohol won't heal a broken heart but that won't stop me from trying again tonight.

Drinks Relationships Wordplay+1

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Aged to Perfection

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.

Drinks Age Wordplay+2

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Grape Expectations

What did the grape do when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just gave a little wine.

Elephant Fruit Wordplay+2

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A Man's Seven-Course Meal

What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.

Food Drinks Wordplay

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Paving the way for laughs

A guy walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm. I'll have a pint, and one for the road!

Wordplay Bar Drinks+1

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Coffee & Jokes

I like my coffee like I like my jokes... brewed to perfection and a little bit dark!

Coffee Wordplay Dark Humor+1

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Knight Fever

Where did everyone go to party in medieval times? The Knight Club

Medieval Party Wordplay+1

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Heavenly Spirits

I asked if heaven has Beer... they said: No, it's more of a Spirit Place!

Religion Drinks Wordplay

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Barley Alive

Barely... I meant barley!!! I am barely alive... Guess I'm just brewing through life... Cheers to survival, one beer at a time!

Wordplay Drinks

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