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No theme, no warning. Dad picks whatever made him laugh in the garage this week.

163 jokes

How to avoid scams. Seminar cancelled. Tickets are non-refundable.

Fine Print Seminar

Aug 30, 2026

If anything is possible, is it possible for something to be impossible?

Possibly Impossible

Aug 29, 2026

I can't stand running on the treadmill for half an hour, only to look down and see it's been just 4 minutes.

Time Is a Liar

Aug 27, 2026

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up. Are they looking for ideas?

Cornered at the Reunion

Aug 25, 2026

There are drunk bikers, there are old bikers. But… there are no old, drunk bikers!

Odds on the Open Road

Aug 23, 2026

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9.

Numeral Crime Report

Aug 22, 2026

I just came across the same crossword clue for an 11-letter word in two newspapers. Coincidence?

Eleven Letters of Doubt

Aug 20, 2026

Easy to remember, my password is the last 16 digits of the number Pi.

Irrational Password Policy

Aug 18, 2026

The sun is going to go out in 4 billion years. And you sit there… acting like everything is fine!

Cosmic Doomsday Drill

Aug 16, 2026

I think, therefore I can't get anything done.

Thinker's Block

Aug 15, 2026

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

Perfect Worry Record

Aug 13, 2026

I never lose my car in the parking lot. It's just temporarily misplaced!

Geographic Difficulties

Aug 11, 2026

My keyboard is missing a key. I lost CTRL.

Possessed Hardware

Aug 9, 2026

Round? Round. Get a round? I'll get a round! THE BEACH BOYS

Surf Rock Economics

Aug 8, 2026

If I had a dollar for every woman who called me handsome… I'd have 1 dollar. Thanks, Grandma!

The Family Discount

Aug 6, 2026

I really love my spine. It's always so supportive.

Vertebral Loyalty

Aug 4, 2026

If there was someone selling drugs in this place, weed know.

Neighborhood Watch Activated

Aug 2, 2026

I procrastinate so that by the time I get to my tasks, I'll be older and wiser.

Aged to Excellence

Aug 1, 2026

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Loan Officer Logic

Jul 30, 2026

Preorder now! I have nothing for sale… yet. But it's always good to preorder.

Business Plan Pending

Jul 28, 2026

Husband: For the last 28 years, all you've done is find mistakes in anything I say. Wife: 29 years…

Counting With Interest

Jul 26, 2026

What starts with 'E', ends with 'E' and has only one letter? Envelope!

Mail Room Riddle

Jul 25, 2026

What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt!

Math Class Compliments

Jul 23, 2026

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Humble Beginnings

Jul 21, 2026