Comparison Jokes

11 comparison dad jokes. You asked for it.

Weight Comparison

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other? A little lighter!

AnimalsWordplayLight+2

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Temperature Logic

If you're hotter than me… then it means I'm cooler than you.

WeatherSelf-DeprecatingIrony+2

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Wardrobe Wheels

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

WordplayClothingTransport+1

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Flight Facts

Truth is... there are more planes in the ocean than boats in the sky…

AviationOceanComparison+2

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The F-Factor: Politicians and Flying Pigs

What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.

PoliticsAnimalsWordplay+1

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Etch-A-Rap

Rap is to music what an Etch-A-Sketch is to art.

MusicArtComparison

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Marriage vs. Smoking

Marriage and smoking are similar. You start because you want to and you continue because you have to.

MarriageSmokingComparison+1

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The Finest Brew

Why are men like coffee? The finest ones are rich, hot, and keep you awake all night.

MenCoffeeComparison+2

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Repair or Bury?

What's the difference between a mechanic and a doctor? A mechanic repairs his mistakes, while a doctor buries his.

ProfessionsComparisonHealth+1

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The Ultimate Uselessness

You're about as useless as an asshole with tastebuds.

InsultSarcasmComparison+2

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Lion's Wings

What do an eagle and a lion have in common? They both have wings, except for the lion.

LionWordplayAnimals+1

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