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Late Edition

Topic

Work & Office

Meetings that could have been jokes.

35 jokes

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask where they're going and catch up with them later.

Dream Chasing Postponed

Oct 12, 2026

My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

Boss's Orders

Oct 10, 2026

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

Aluminum Career Advice

Sep 28, 2026

Doctor, an invisible patient is on line one. Tell him I can't see him right now.

Bedside Manner Optional

Sep 21, 2026

To err is human. To blame it on somebody else shows management potential.

Corner Office Material

Sep 6, 2026

What is the new pirates movie rated? Arrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Box Office Booty

Sep 1, 2026

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Procrastinators Manifesto

Aug 31, 2026

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up. Are they looking for ideas?

Cornered at the Reunion

Aug 25, 2026

I'm writing a book about all the things I should be doing. It will be my oughtobiography.

Procrastination Memoir

Aug 24, 2026

Ham & Eggs, a day's work for a chicken and a lifetime commitment for a pig.

Breakfast Plate Economics

Aug 21, 2026

I think, therefore I can't get anything done.

Thinker's Block

Aug 15, 2026

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

Perfect Worry Record

Aug 13, 2026

How would a drummer be paid if he started selling pillows? Per cushion.

Soft Career Pivot

Aug 3, 2026

I procrastinate so that by the time I get to my tasks, I'll be older and wiser.

Aged to Excellence

Aug 1, 2026

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Loan Officer Logic

Jul 30, 2026

Preorder now! I have nothing for sale… yet. But it's always good to preorder.

Business Plan Pending

Jul 28, 2026

I always arrive late at the office but I make up for it by leaving early.

Office Hours, Loosely

Jul 19, 2026

How long have I been working for this company? Ever since they threatened to fire me…

Loyalty by Ultimatum

Jul 7, 2026

I wish my wife was one of those secret agents who can't spill a word about their day at work!

Classified Information Wanted

Jul 4, 2026

Upgrade your weekend, take Monday off…

Calendar Upgrade

Jun 25, 2026

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

Cleared for Landing

May 23, 2026

I don't understand why people hate lazy people. They didn't do anything.

Crime of Doing Nothing

May 12, 2026

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

Billable Loitering

May 7, 2026

Claustrophobic people are more productive when they are thinking out of the box.

Cramped Genius

Apr 25, 2026