Time Jokes

35 time dad jokes. You asked for it.

Punctual In My Own Timezone

Just tell me when and where, and I'll be there 20 minutes late.

PunctualityTimeParty

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Premium Edition Weekend

Upgrade your weekend, take Monday off...

WeekendMondayWork+2

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Recliner Doctrine

If you enjoyed the time you wasted, then it wasn’t wasted time.

TimePhilosophyWork

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The Tomorrow Tax

The cost of procrastination is the life you could've lived.

ProcrastinationTimeRegret+2

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Cake Math

Don't worry about getting older... You're still younger than you'll be next year! Happy Birthday

BirthdayAgingAge+1

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Working Just Fine

Wow, this new hearing aid I got is amazing! I can hear everything! That's fantastic! What kind is it? Oh... It's about 2:15.

HearingTimeMisunderstanding

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Spend It Anyway

Time is the one currency you can't see your balance for. Use it wisely.

TimeBalanceLife+1

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Knees Don't Vote

Just enjoy life... You'll never be this young again!

YouthLifeAging+2

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Chairside Comedy Hour

What time is the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!

DentistTeethAppointment+2

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Lunch Ran Long

I ate a clock the other day. It was very time consuming.

ClockTimeEating+2

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Letter Never Mailed

Dear Self, just give me time... I'm going to make you proud!

SelfTimeAmbition+2

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