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Late Edition

Topic

Health & Body

Doctor’s orders: laugh twice daily.

32 jokes

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask where they're going and catch up with them later.

Dream Chasing Postponed

Oct 12, 2026

Keep the dream alive. And hit the snooze button.

Dream Maintenance

Oct 5, 2026

The more naps I take, the better I understand the world.

Horizontal Enlightenment

Sep 29, 2026

Doctor, an invisible patient is on line one. Tell him I can't see him right now.

Bedside Manner Optional

Sep 21, 2026

I can't believe viruses and bacteria just sneak in my body without asking. That makes me sick!

Trespassers Inbound

Aug 10, 2026

I really love my spine. It's always so supportive.

Vertebral Loyalty

Aug 4, 2026

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Two Stools One Diagnosis

Jul 31, 2026

Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet! As long as I don't eat anything else today and tomorrow.

On Track, Technically

Jul 10, 2026

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

The Buffet Strategy

Jul 3, 2026

What's the coldest city in Germany? Brr-lin.

German Geography Lesson

Jun 30, 2026

If my body is a temple, then… eating pancakes is a form of prayer.

Pancake Liturgy

Jun 26, 2026

The banana went to see the doctor because she was not peeling well.

Tropical Waiting Room

Jun 19, 2026

What did the police say to his hungry stomach? Freeze! You're under a vest!

Belly of the Law

Jun 15, 2026

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

Forest Dentistry Update

Jun 5, 2026

Why did I walk into the kitchen again? Oh right, I need to forget. I need to forget seven times to remember once!

The Kitchen Mystery

May 30, 2026

Every tattoo is temporary because we are all slowly dying.

Fine Print on Ink

May 26, 2026

Doctor, I have a problem with my left ear. Are you sure? Yes, I am definite!

Second Opinion Denied

May 11, 2026

Were any famous men born on your birthday? No, only little babies.

Birth Records Request

May 5, 2026

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind.

Second Opinion

May 2, 2026

How many psychiatrists are needed to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb must truly want to change.

Therapy for the Fixture

Apr 13, 2026

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make when they fly by…

Right Past My Ear

Mar 28, 2026

I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.

Laundry Day Mystery

Mar 27, 2026

Every night I'm like 'I have exactly 5 hours, 37 minutes, 19 seconds… If I fall asleep in 2 minutes.'

Bedtime Calculus

Mar 26, 2026

I went to the doctor, and he said I'd need to take a pill every day for the rest of my life. But he only gave me 4 pills?

Prescription Refill

Mar 24, 2026