Food Jokes

86 food dad jokes. You asked for it.

Infinite Wealth, Limited Spending

I have enough money to last the rest of my life... as long as I don't buy and eat anything.

Money Food Irony

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Man's Diet: A Beerful Balance

What's a man's balanced diet? A beer in each hand!

Drinks Food Men+1

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Solving Problems, One Bite at a Time

Remember: You can eat your way out of almost any problem.

Food Problem-Solving Philosophy+1

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Buzzing Sales

What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.

Wordplay Insects Food+2

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Messing with Vegetarians

If I discovered a new animal, I'd call it a Quorn! Just to mess with vegetarians.

Vegetables Animals Food+1

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The Secret to Better Tasting Dinners

Every wife should understand one thing: A dinner will taste better if she cooks it less frequently.

Food Relationships Marriage+1

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The Veteran with a Spicy Past

The soldier who survived mustard-gas and pepper-spray is now a seasoned veteran

Military Food Wordplay+2

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Wurst of the Wurst

What do you call a German sausage made of other German sausages? The wurst of the wurst.

Food Wordplay Sausage

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Divine Pasta Power

Pastafarianism is by far superior to other religions.

Religion Satire Food

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Battle of Besties

Best friends: willing to sacrifice everything for each other, yet fiercely battle over the last slice of pizza.

Friendship Food Competition+1

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Fruity Breakup

If he doesn't appreciate your fruit jokes you let that mango.

Wordplay Fruit Relationships+1

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Learning from Toaster Mishaps

Sometimes you succeed and other times you learn…

Food Mistake Life+1

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The Art of Eating Tacos

I eat my tacos over a tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, boom, boom, another taco!

Food

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The Stubborn Vegetable

What kind of vegetable refuses to be harvested? The kind that doesn’t lettuce.

Wordplay Vegetables Food+1

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Memory Lane in the Kitchen

Why did I walk into the kitchen again? Oh right, I need to forget. I need to forget seven times to remember once!

Nostalgia Food Forgetfulness+1

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Vegetarian with a Vendetta

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Vegetables Food Nature+1

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Cooking Confidence in a Bottle

Remember, a small bottle of vodka not only makes your table look nice but also covers any cooking mistakes.

Drinks Food

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Orange Logic

Carrot is orange but orange is not carrot.

Wordplay Food Color+1

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Sausage Surprise

Wow, it's hot in here! AHH! A talking sausage!

Sausage Wordplay Food+2

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A Man's Seven-Course Meal

What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.

Food Drinks Wordplay

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Tuna Salad Dilemma

If a chef makes a chef salad, who makes tuna salad???

Food Grotesque Humor Wordplay+1

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Fly in the Soup Dilemma

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Impossible! We used them all in the raisin bread...

Food Insects Wordplay

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Muffin Madness

Wow, it’s really hot in here! Whoa! A talking muffin?

Communication Wordplay Food+1

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Procrastination Pizza

How to stay poor. I'll start tomorrow

Procrastination Pizza Food

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