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No theme, no warning. Dad picks whatever made him laugh in the garage this week.

163 jokes

Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because B-shells were too small!

Underwater Sizing Chart

Mar 15, 2026

Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from? Must've come from your mom. I've still got mine.

Inventory Check

Mar 14, 2026

You can't get on the same page if you don't read the same book.

Married, Out of Sync

Mar 12, 2026

All generalizations are wrong, including this one!

Logic Eats Itself

Mar 10, 2026

What brand of underwear do scientists wear? 'Kelvin Klein' wear.

Absolute Zero Briefs

Mar 8, 2026

A relationship with no trust is like having a phone with no service: You just play games.

Signal Lost, Drama Found

Mar 7, 2026

I'm in shape… Round is a shape, isn't it?

Geometrically Speaking

Mar 5, 2026

A backward poet writes inverse.

Reverse Engineering Stanzas

Mar 3, 2026

I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.

Streak Officially Intact

Mar 1, 2026

People used to laugh when I would say I want to be a comedian. Well, nobody is laughing now!

Open Mic Review

Feb 28, 2026

I am more pissed off than a dragon trying to blow out candles.

Dragon Birthday Party

Feb 26, 2026

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

Mouth Closed Policy

Feb 24, 2026

I never understood the true meaning of happiness until I got married… But by then, it was already too late.

Recliner Confessions

Feb 22, 2026

Ever since I took geometry at school, my life has turned around 360 degrees.

Protractor Confessions

Feb 21, 2026

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to grab the bulb, and another to hold the fish.

Bulb Replacement Committee

Feb 19, 2026

I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It started out awful, but by the end I loved it.

Library Card Regrets

Feb 17, 2026

When nothing goes right, go left.

Plan B Has a Door

Feb 15, 2026

It's been a long week. - Me, in the middle of Tuesday.

Halfway to Nowhere

Feb 14, 2026

If prisoners could take their own mugshots… they'd be called cellfies.

Behind Bars Photography

Feb 12, 2026

I love you just the way you are, but I do have a few suggestions.

With Light Edits

Feb 10, 2026

I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you are wrong.

Tone of Voice

Feb 8, 2026

Heard about the statistician who drowned in a river? It was only three feet deep on average.

Statistician Goes Swimming

Feb 7, 2026

It's called gross pay because it's disgusting to see how much money you would have made before taxes.

The Top Number Lies

Feb 5, 2026

I always feel relieved when my doctor says something is normal for my age. But then I remember that someday dying will also be normal for my age.

The Fine Print

Feb 3, 2026