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Late Edition

Topic

Animals

Fish, cows, pandas and the occasional stuck elephant.

46 jokes

What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A milkshake.

Dairy Aisle Disaster

May 20, 2026

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

Gravity Always Wins

May 13, 2026

It doesn't bother me when people won't talk to me, but when a dog won't let me pet it, that really stings.

Animal Kingdom Review

May 6, 2026

What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? A thesaurus!

Big Words, Big Lizard

Apr 29, 2026

What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.

Hive Mind Hustle

Apr 22, 2026

A plane crashed in the jungle and every single person died. Who survived? Married couples.

Lone Wolf Loses Again

Apr 20, 2026

What kind of math do birds love? Owl-gebra.

Feathered Curriculum

Apr 15, 2026

A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says: I think I might be a Type-O.

Bunny Walks Into Setup

Apr 11, 2026

I wrote a book on penguins. Honestly, it would have been much easier if I wrote it on paper.

Author on Ice

Apr 8, 2026

I saw a radioactive cat. It's got eighteen half-lives.

Glowing Tabby Sighted

Apr 1, 2026

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make when they fly by…

Right Past My Ear

Mar 28, 2026

To start a zoo you need at least 2 pandas, a grizzly, and a polar. It's the bear minimum.

Zoning Permit Pending

Mar 25, 2026

You know why bass are so stupid? Because they swim alone, unlike sardines who always go to school!

Class of Tin Cans

Mar 18, 2026

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.

Night Visitor Report

Mar 4, 2026

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they are extinct!

No Standing Ovation

Feb 25, 2026

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to grab the bulb, and another to hold the fish.

Bulb Replacement Committee

Feb 19, 2026

What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? It's the spelling bee.

Parrot Outclassed

Feb 18, 2026

Why don't crabs give to charity? Because they're shell-fish.

Beach Bum Charity

Feb 11, 2026

How do koala bears stop a TV show? They hit the paws button.

Marsupial Remote Skills

Feb 4, 2026

Why don't giraffes ever win at hide and seek? They just can't help but stick out!

Tall Order, Bad Strategy

Jan 28, 2026

How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?

Rabbit Eye Exam

Jan 14, 2026

What kind of fish can't swim? A dead one.

Catch of the Day

Jan 7, 2026