Sarcasm Jokes

92 sarcasm dad jokes. You asked for it.

Longevity Burden

If I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, I may live long enough to be a real burden to my loved ones. Please, pass me the wine.

Family Drinks Irony+2

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Unwanted Opinions

If I wanted your opinion, I would give it to you.

Sarcasm Communication Wordplay+2

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Liver Donation Plan

I plan to donate my liver to an alcoholic so I’ll know it’s a match.

Drinks Donation Wordplay+2

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Heartbreakers Club

Alcohol won't heal a broken heart but that won't stop me from trying again tonight.

Drinks Relationships Wordplay+1

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Aged to Perfection

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.

Drinks Age Wordplay+2

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Preventative Parenting

Learn from your parent's mistakes. Use birth control.

Parenting Wordplay Sarcasm+1

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Not a Fan

My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she’s hot. But honestly... I’m not a fan.

Marriage Relationships Wordplay+1

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Anti-Gravity Problems

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

Science Wordplay Books+2

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Tissue Dance Moves

How do you make a tissue dance?.. Put a little boogie in it.

Wordplay Music Sarcasm

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Fungus Amungus

Ho! Look! There’s a fungus amungus!!

Wordplay Nature Sarcasm

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Endless Voting

Direct democracy is when everyone votes on everything except whether they want to keep voting on everything.

Wordplay Politics Sarcasm

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Wasted Time Wisdom

If you enjoyed the time you wasted, then it wasn’t wasted time.

Wordplay Time Procrastination+2

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Sincerely, Science

Dear Religion, Pics or it didn’t happen... Sincerely, Science

Wordplay Science Religion+2

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Short Legs, Big Laughs

What’s ET short for? Because he’s got little legs.

Wordplay Aliens Sarcasm

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How to Keep an Idiot in Suspense

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later.

Wordplay Suspense Sarcasm

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Password Recovery

I have all your passwords! OMG THANK YOU! WHAT ARE THEY?

Password Technology Sarcasm

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Booked for Thursday

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She said: "Great, I booked it for Thursday."

Marriage Dark Humor Wordplay+1

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Dino Detective

I can always tell when they use fake dinosaurs in movies.

Dinosaurs Movies Sarcasm+1

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Wife's Apology

My wife apologised to me the other day. She said she was sorry for ever marrying me.

Marriage Relationships Wordplay+1

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Lost Keys

Lost your keys? Why not try looking in the same two places repeatedly whilst getting increasingly angrier.

Life-Struggles Sarcasm

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